"This is not a problem," said Inspector Yashwanth Kumar, a senior officer with the Bangalore Traffic Police, as he proudly pointed to a particularly monstrous crater on MG Road. "This is a blessing from the traffic gods, an accidental health intervention for the citizens. Potholes are not just road hazards; they are road-based wellness hubs. They are working wonders for your internal plumbing."
Kumar's revelation was met with mixed reactions. While some citizens expressed their undying gratitude, others were slightly less convinced, questioning the idea of an unintended road hazard being transformed into a government-endorsed wellness initiative.
"It's simple biology," Kumar continued, as he dodged an oncoming rickshaw that almost sent him tumbling into a particularly unfriendly pothole. "Every time your vehicle hits one of these natural depressions, your internal organs get the workout of a lifetime. It's like yoga, but without the expensive membership. You're literally doing downward dog and cat pose in your car seat. And who needs probiotics when you have potholes?"
The traffic department’s latest health campaign, The Pothole Detox, has already gained significant traction in the city, which is known for its streets resembling an obstacle course more than a traditional road network. While road repair work in Bangalore is often described as “perpetually in progress,” the potholes have become a source of pride. “Why fill them up?” asked Deputy Commissioner of Police, Ramesh Prasad. "Why destroy something so useful for the human body? It's nature’s own gym!"
To further promote this bold new strategy, traffic officers have begun handing out free pamphlets to commuters that provide detailed instructions on how to best utilise potholes for maximum health benefits. The pamphlet includes top tips such as: "Buckle up and prepare for the bumpy ride," "Hold your tummy and feel the core strength develop," and "Don’t worry about your shocks — they’ll thank you later."
“Instead of complaining, people should be embracing the potholes,” said a visibly excited Kumar. "They are a free, low-cost, high-impact exercise. I hit one every day, and let me tell you, my cholesterol levels have dropped dramatically. The best part? You can hit multiple potholes on the way to work. It’s like getting a full-body workout every single day."
The local gym owners are thrilled by the new development. Several fitness trainers, including a few from well-known chains like Potholes and Pull-Ups and BumpyBody Fitness, have already begun incorporating potholes into their workout routines. "It’s so much better than paying for those fancy treadmills that cost more than my monthly rent," said Rohit Choudhury, a fitness enthusiast. "Now, I just drive to work, and my car does all the work. Talk about a passive workout!"
Meanwhile, netizens have been left divided over the proposal, with some applauding the government’s ingenuity, while others remain doubtful. One popular meme circulating on Twitter shows a car flying through a pothole with a caption that reads, "Not a pothole. A Wellness Hole." Another one pictures a pothole next to a luxury spa with the words, “Potholes: The Secret to Inner Peace and Digestive Power.”
However, the backlash came swiftly, with many pointing out that the health claims seemed to be more about wishful thinking than actual science. “I’ve had enough of these pothole promotions,” said Rajesh, a Bangalore resident who was seen grimacing after driving through a particularly treacherous patch on Bannerghatta Road. “I don't know about digestion, but my back feels like it’s been through a medieval torture chamber. Someone should really fix these roads.”
A self-proclaimed pothole survivor, Meera, tweeted: "I don’t need to ‘strengthen my bowels’ by falling into a black hole. I need roads that don’t make my car sound like it's auditioning for a role in Fast & Furious 27: Road to Ruin."
Despite the criticisms, the Traffic Police are not backing down. "This is not about fixing roads; it’s about embracing roads. Roads, like life, are unpredictable, full of bumps, and a little uncomfortable. But that’s where growth happens," said Prasad. "You know, the same way you never see the full benefits of yoga until you've spent hours contorted into a pretzel shape. Potholes are like that — except you don’t have to bend. The road does the bending for you."
The Bangalore City Corporation has also jumped on the bandwagon, announcing plans to introduce a city-wide initiative where citizens can sign up for Pothole Masterclasses, where experts will guide participants on how to "maximize the benefit of potholes." “This isn’t about getting rid of potholes,” said one civic officer. “This is about celebrating potholes. Imagine the tourism potential! What’s the point of roads if they don’t inspire people to talk about them in awe?”
Meanwhile, for commuters who prefer a more direct approach, a new app called Potho has been launched, which allows people to track potholes in real-time, rate them for their "digestive benefits," and share reviews. The app's tagline reads: “Feel the Burn — and we don’t mean the engine light!” App users can even upload videos of their journeys to compete for titles like “Pothole King” or “Queen of the Crater.”
This week, the Bangalore Traffic Police launched their first pothole charity event, The Pothole Marathon. It was a resounding success with over 2,000 participants running through different parts of the city’s most pothole-ridden areas. For every pothole skipped, runners were penalized, and for every pothole hit, they earned “health points” — which they could redeem for a complimentary massage at the Pothole Reflexology Centre. At the end of the marathon, participants received custom-made pothole-shaped trophies made from discarded traffic cones, in celebration of the city’s rugged infrastructure.
One participant, Shruti, summed it up perfectly: "I came here for the run, but I’m leaving with a new-found respect for potholes. I don’t know if my gut is stronger, but my suspension system definitely is. I’ll be back for next year’s marathon. Potholes are life."