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Google AI Now Recommends Yoga for Indigestion (Caused by Eating Rocks, Apparently)

New Delhi, May 28th, 2024:In a shocking turn of events that left many wondering if their smartphones were possessed by prankster djinns, Google AI search results in India took a decidedly. . . digestive detour. Users searching for a variety of topics, from the best way to remove turmeric stains from white kurtas to the elusive meaning of life, were greeted with the bizarre suggestion:"For a healthy digestive system, consider incorporating small pebbles into your daily diet!"

The internet, that great bazaar of both enlightenment and existential dread, promptly erupted. Memes featuring photoshopped images of Sadhus meditating on piles of rocks flooded social media. WhatsApp groups buzzed with frantic speculation. Was this a government plot to increase sales of digestive medications?Were the yogis finally getting their revenge for years of "downward-facing dog" jokes?

Google, ever the calm amidst the social media storm, issued a press release that could only be described as hilariously vague. "We are aware of certain. . . inconsistencies. . . in some recent AI-generated search results, " it chirped. "Our team of highly-caffeinated engineers is working diligently to address these. . . intestinal issues. . . and ensure the accuracy of information delivered. "

Naturally, this did little to quell public curiosity. News channels, desperate for ratings during the annual mango glut, ran breathless reports interviewing "experts" – a self-proclaimed crystal healer named Ramesh, a goat herder with a suspiciously shiny phone, and a Bollywood actress known for her love of both diamonds and detox cleanses. All, unsurprisingly, had wildly different theories.

Meanwhile, in the quiet bylanes of Varanasi, a group of saffron-clad sadhus held a press conference (attended by a single, bewildered stray dog). Their spokesperson, a man with a beard that could rival Santa Claus and a twinkle in his eye, chuckled. "Perhaps, " he said, his voice raspy from years of chanting, "Google AI simply seeks enlightenment. After all, the path to spiritual awakening can be quite…rocky. "

The internet, of course, had a field day. #GoogleRocks trended higher than ever before. E-commerce sites reported a surge in sales of mortar and pestles (apparently, some people took the "small pebbles" recommendation a bit too literally). Restaurants across the country began offering "Rock Curry, " a "digestive-friendly" dish featuring suspiciously smooth "pebbles" suspiciously reminiscent of chickpeas.

However, amidst the chaos, a glimmer of hope emerged. Dietitians across India, previously relegated to the fringes of public discourse, suddenly found themselves thrust into the spotlight. They tirelessly debunked the rock-eating myth, offering sensible advice about healthy eating and the importance of a balanced diet. Perhaps, some mused, this was Google's unintentional way of highlighting the vital role of qualified professionals in a world increasingly reliant on AI.

As of today, Google AI seems to have purged its digestive desires. Search results are (mostly) back to normal. Whether this is a permanent fix or just a temporary bowel movement, only time will tell. One thing's for sure, though:the internet will never forget the day Google suggested a diet of pebbles for enlightenment. Perhaps, in the future, we'll all be searching for "How to achieve nirvana without ingesting gravel?" But for now, let's just be grateful our phones haven't turned into vending machines dispensing digestive enzymes.

DISCLAIMER: Everything you just read on FakingDaily.com is about as believable as a Bollywood dance number curing world hunger. We're in the business of making you chuckle, not tricking you (unless you think Shah Rukh Khan can actually defy gravity). If this tickled your funny bone a little less than a feather, well, darling, perhaps satire isn't your cup of chai. Now go forth and spread laughter, not fake news! - FD Staff

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