Man Claims to See 'Akashic Aliens' After Chugging "Fizzer"

The bustling capital, New Delhi, was abuzz with a different kind of current last night – one that coursed through Pappu Shukla, an inebriated resident of Chandni Chowk, and allegedly into the very fabric of the cosmos. In a now-viral video, a bleary-eyed Pappu, reeking of "Fizzer" (a locally-brewed, shall-we-say, "alternative" beverage), stumbles out of a ramshackle bar and points wildly at the sky, yelling, "Dekho!Dekho!Aasmani Disco!(Look!Look!Sky Disco!)"

The grainy footage, captured by a street vendor selling momos, shows what appears to be a series of shimmering green and purple streaks dancing across the supposedly starless Delhi sky. Pappu, meanwhile, is launching into an elaborate – and frankly, unbelievable – tale about how downing an entire bottle of Fizzer unlocked his "third eye" and allowed him to commune with "Akashic Aliens" (Sky People) throwing a celestial rave.

Naturally, the internet went into meltdown. Here are some of the most popular reactions:

  • Fizzer Fanatics:"Fizzer opens the doors of perception, man!You can see the truth!" This comment, accompanied by a string of emojis that would make an emoji dictionary blush, has garnered significant support from the "responsible" Fizzer-drinking community (which, let's be honest, is a bit of an oxymoron).

  • The Skeptics' Society:"This is clearly pollution. Or maybe he just dropped his samosa and is chasing pigeons. " This faction, led by armchair scientists with internet degrees in "Debunking Idiocy, " is having a field day dismantling Pappu's claims with logic and sarcasm.

  • The Mythological Maniacs:"Those are Apsaras, you buffoon!Don't you recognize celestial dancers when you see them?Must be the blessings of Lord Indra after all that Fizzer!" This group, armed with their well-worn copies of the Mahabharata and generous sprinklings of "hain?" (huh?), is convinced Pappu has stumbled upon a mythological happening.

  • The Marketing Mavericks:Fizzer Pvt. Ltd. (motto:"Fizzer – It's not just a drink, it's an experience!") has maintained a studied silence, though industry insiders claim their social media team is having a field day churning out hilarious memes.

Meanwhile, Pappu Shukla has become an overnight – or rather, an over-Fizzer – sensation. News channels are baying for his interview, with offers ranging from free astrology consultations to lifetime supplies of a "healthy" fizzy drink alternative (wink, wink). Pappu, however, remains elusive, reportedly spotted downing another bottle of Fizzer and muttering about "galactic bhangra parties" (a celestial dance party, for the uninitiated).

Whether Pappu truly saw the aurora borealis (the scientific explanation, for the curious few) or was just experiencing the after-effects of a particularly potent Fizzer, one thing is certain:Delhi has a new legend, and the internet has a new meme. So, the next time you're downing a (responsible) drink and gazing at the Delhi sky, remember – you might just see some Akashic Aliens yourself. Just don't blame us if the only thing dancing is your head.

DISCLAIMER: Everything you just read on is about as believable as a Bollywood dance number curing world hunger. We're in the business of making you chuckle, not tricking you (unless you think Shah Rukh Khan can actually defy gravity). If this tickled your funny bone a little less than a feather, well, darling, perhaps satire isn't your cup of chai. Now go forth and spread laughter, not fake news! - FD Staff