Niti Aayog Says 75 is the New 50!

In a move that's sure to leave hair dye companies weeping, Niti Aayog, India's esteemed policy think tank, has proposed a radical solution to the nation's political age pyramid:a drastic revision of the Prime Ministerial eligibility age. Buckle up, folks, because according to Niti Aayog boffins (highly intellectual individuals, but pronounce it with a fancy accent for effect), 75 is the new 50!

Imagine the scenes!Our beloved Prime Minister, Shri Not-So-Subhash Chandra Bose (though conspiracy theorists claim he dyes his beard with leftover Holi colors), could potentially rule for another two decades!Forget "achhe din" (good days), we're looking at "achhe dashak" (good decades)!

Naturally, this proposal has caused quite a stir. Here's a breakdown of the reactions:

  • The Ruling Party:Party workers, most of whom haven't seen a promotion since the invention of the fax machine, are ecstatic. "Finally, some job security!" beamed one particularly enthusiastic karyakarta (party worker) while adjusting his "Main Hoon Not-So-Subhash" (I am Not-So-Subhash) T-shirt.

  • The Opposition:Let's just say the air in Parliament is thicker than the Delhi smog right now. "This is outrageous!This is daylight robbery!This is. . . actually a pretty good idea for our re-election campaign!" spluttered the Leader of the Opposition, Shri Kapil Dev (no relation to the cricketer, sadly).

  • The Public:The general public, ever the embodiment of delightful confusion, is divided. Senior citizens are thrilled at the prospect of an oldie at the helm, finally someone who understands their struggle to book train tickets online. Youngsters, on the other hand, are having collective existential crises. "Does this mean we have to wait another 20 years for that flying car they promised?" lamented a young man, scrolling through his phone with the fervor of a monk counting prayer beads.

But wait, there's more!Niti Aayog, in their infinite wisdom, has proposed a few additional "anti-aging" policies:

  • Mandatory yoga sessions in Parliament:Apparently, downward-facing dog poses will improve not just flexibility, but also the ability to think on one's feet (or should we say head?) during debates.

  • A daily dose of Chyawanprash for all MPs:This ancient herbal concoction is believed to boost immunity and vitality. Just don't ask about the side effects – let's just say some speeches might get a bit. . . fruity.

  • Government-sponsored laughter yoga workshops:Because what better way to deal with the stress of running a country than a good belly laugh?Just imagine the Prime Minister leading the nation in a hearty "ho ho ha ha!" session. Truly a sight to behold.

Of course, there are a few concerns. Will the Prime Minister's advisors have to start hiding the stairs and replacing them with ramps?Will we need to invest in bigger chairs to accommodate senior leadership?And most importantly, will we finally get a Prime Minister who can tell the difference between WhatsApp and TikTok?

Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure:with Niti Aayog at the helm, Indian politics is about to get a whole lot more interesting (and possibly a little bit more wrinkled).

DISCLAIMER: Everything you just read on is about as believable as a Bollywood dance number curing world hunger. We're in the business of making you chuckle, not tricking you (unless you think Shah Rukh Khan can actually defy gravity). If this tickled your funny bone a little less than a feather, well, darling, perhaps satire isn't your cup of chai. Now go forth and spread laughter, not fake news! - FD Staff