"It started as a joke," Kumar confessed to FD Staff, lounging in his modest hostel room adorned with posters of Elon Musk and Rajinikanth. "I thought, why not personalise my phone assistant? If I'm going to have a digital servant, it might as well have a prestigious name."
The Genesis of a Digital Revolution
Kumar's journey began during a late-night coding session fuelled by instant noodles and a desire to outsmart his peers. Frustrated by the monotony of standard voice commands, he delved into the phone's settings, uncovering hidden developer options that allowed him to alter the assistant's wake word. After a few tweaks and a minor system crash, "Hey Tim" was born.
"At first, it was just Siri responding to 'Tim,' but then I thought, why stop there?" Kumar explained. "I moved on to Google Assistant, renaming it 'Sundar.' Now, my phone feels like a boardroom meeting every time I ask for the weather."
Silicon Valley's Existential Crisis
News of Kumar's innovation spread rapidly, reaching the ears of tech moguls themselves. Sources close to Apple CEO Tim Cook report that he was both flattered and mildly disturbed upon hearing his name invoked to set morning alarms. "It's an honour, I suppose," Cook reportedly said, "but also a bit unsettling. I didn't anticipate being summoned to play Bollywood songs at 2 AM."
Google's Sundar Pichai, on the other hand, embraced the development with characteristic humour. "If calling your assistant 'Sundar' makes your day better, I'm all for it," he tweeted, adding a winking emoji that sent tech bloggers into a frenzy of overanalysis.
A Trend Takes Root
Inspired by Kumar's ingenuity, tech enthusiasts across India have begun renaming their assistants after various CEOs. Amazon's Alexa has been rechristened "Jeff" in honour of Jeff Bezos, while Microsoft's Cortana now responds to "Satya," a nod to CEO Satya Nadella. One enterprising user even programmed his assistant to answer to "Mukesh," though it's unclear whether this refers to Mukesh Ambani or the legendary playback singer.
Social media platforms have been flooded with videos showcasing these personalised assistants. In one viral clip, a user asks, "Hey Jeff, order more toilet paper," prompting Alexa to respond with, "Sure, ordering 100 rolls of premium bamboo tissue." The video ends with the user frantically trying to cancel the order, highlighting the potential pitfalls of anthropomorphising corporate leaders.
The Ethical Debate
While many celebrate this trend as a harmless and humorous form of digital customisation, some ethicists have raised concerns. Dr. Anita Sharma, a professor of technology ethics at Delhi University, warns that assigning human names to AI assistants could blur the lines between reality and simulation. "When we start attributing human identities to machines, we risk developing emotional attachments that can affect our interpersonal relationships," she cautioned.
However, Kumar remains unfazed by such critiques. "It's just a bit of fun," he insisted. "If anything, it makes me more productive. I feel like I'm delegating tasks to the actual CEOs. It's empowering."
Corporate Responses
In response to the growing trend, tech companies have issued statements acknowledging the phenomenon. Apple released a brief note stating, "We appreciate our users' creativity and are always looking for ways to enhance personalisation." Google echoed this sentiment, adding, "Our goal is to make technology more accessible and enjoyable for everyone."
Meanwhile, Amazon has reportedly begun testing a feature that allows users to choose from a list of celebrity voices for Alexa, including Samuel L. Jackson and Amitabh Bachchan. When asked if Jeff Bezos would be added to the roster, an Amazon spokesperson declined to comment.
The Future of Personalised Assistants
As the trend gains momentum, experts predict a future where users can fully customise their digital assistants, not just in name but also in personality and appearance. Imagine a world where your assistant not only responds to "Elon" but also adopts Musk's speech patterns and entrepreneurial zeal. Need to schedule a meeting? "Elon" might suggest launching it into orbit instead.
For now, Kumar is content with his creation. "It's like having a team of CEOs at my beck and call," he mused. "Who needs a corporate job when you can have the corporate elite in your pocket?"