Aadhaarhaar! High Court Says Baba Ramdev's "Baba"-ness Not Government Certified

Breaking News! In a landmark judgement that's left the nation clutching its Pattanjali-branded colon cleansers in disbelief, the esteemed Kar-natak High Court has ruled that yoga guru and entrepreneur extraordinaire, Baba Ramdev, must drop the title "Baba" from his passport.

Apparently, "Baba-hood, " much like a degree in Ayurvedic medicine these days, seems to require some sort of official certification. And let's face it, with a billion gods and a million self-proclaimed godmen running around, things were getting a tad confusing at immigration.

"Can't just walk in with 'Baba' on your passport and expect expedited clearance at the holy gates of Heathrow, " remarked a visibly exasperated Justice Puttaswamy, while adjusting his "Dharma is the only Dharma" t-shirt peeking out from under his robes.

The Baba Ramdev camp, however, is aghast. "This is an outrage!" boomed Ramdev from the balcony of his Patanjali headquarters, his voice amplified by a suspiciously microphone-shaped yoga mat. "Does the esteemed court question my inner Baba-ness?Can divine enlightenment be attained through a sarkari (government) certificate?"

He then proceeded to demonstrate his spiritual prowess by holding a headstand for an hour straight, all while his PR team frantically drafted a press release titled, "Courtroom Asanas:Ramdev's Silent Protest Against Passport Prejudice. "

The internet, of course, erupted in a hilarious display of digital dhoti-clutching. #BabaTax trended for hours, with memes depicting bewildered immigration officers asking Ramdev to "Declare your Babaggage sir" and photoshopped passports with "Baba (pending verification)" stamped across them.

Meanwhile, rival godman Swami Suchindrananda Giri, known for his flamboyant saffron robes and questionable investment schemes, saw an opportunity. "This is a clear case of Babasitism!" he declared, his voice dripping with mock sincerity. "Only a certified, Sanyasi-Sub-prime Court-approved Baba can guide you towards spiritual salvation. " Swami Suchindrananda then launched a new line of saffron-dyed dhotis with "Sub-prime Court Certified Baba" embroidered on them.

But not everyone is amused. Pundits are worried that this judgement sets a dangerous precedent. Will the government start regulating spiritual titles next?Will we see "Saint (Level 2)" and "Prophet (Probationary)" stamped on passports?What about the holy men who haven't quite achieved Baba-dom yet?Will they be relegated to a lowly "Bhai" or even worse, a pedestrian "Mr. "?

The real question, however, is whether this will affect Ramdev's ever-expanding Patanjali empire. Will customers trust a "Mr. Ramdev" selling their yoga mats and immunity boosters?Will his divinely-bestowed salesmanship take a hit?Only time (and the ever-fickle Indian consumer) will tell.

One thing's for sure, this is a judgement that will be debated over endless cups of chai for months to come. And who knows, maybe this is just the push Ramdev needs to finally launch his much-anticipated line of "Inner-Baba Awakening" instant noodles. After all, what better way to fuel your spiritual journey than with a bowl of certified, Baba-approved ramen?

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